If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
