why do cheetos always look like penises
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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