Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
