Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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