i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
