dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
