Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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