guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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