We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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