Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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