And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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