We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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