Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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