If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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