So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
