What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
