The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
