i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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