I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.