Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.