I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM