hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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