Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
