Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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