remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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