dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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