Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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