After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
