I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
