just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize