Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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