im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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