"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
