I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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