I accidentally had phone sex last night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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