hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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