cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
