Sponge bath it is.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
worst night to have a conscience
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
