ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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