I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
