you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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