that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
