And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
