his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We need to get me chipped asap
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize