CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
