She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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