Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.

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(816): Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth. http://tfl.nu/la0a

Replies (9) Good night (3029) Bad night (660)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober

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(704): I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober http://tfl.nu/te1z

Replies (29) Good night (3561) Bad night (812)
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(256): View more from Alabama

There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen

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(256): There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen http://tfl.nu/2fvb

Replies (6) Good night (3727) Bad night (585)
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(703): View more from Virginia

the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.

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(703): the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week. http://tfl.nu/6di3

Replies (17) Good night (4212) Bad night (1191)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.

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(504): She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet. http://tfl.nu/znp0

Replies (48) Good night (10587) Bad night (1262)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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(306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s

Replies (14) Good night (1196) Bad night (2995)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.

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(613): Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground. http://tfl.nu/deou

Replies (9) Good night (2634) Bad night (1211)
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(561): View more from Florida

He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.

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(561): He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant. http://tfl.nu/xyax

Replies (8) Good night (2780) Bad night (921)
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(360): View more from Washington

Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.

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(360): Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised. http://tfl.nu/xha6

Replies (45) Good night (2070) Bad night (4002)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty

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(732): I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty http://tfl.nu/54ho

Replies (11) Good night (901) Bad night (1525)
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(585): View more from New York

The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...

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(585): The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean... http://tfl.nu/ugwg

Replies (14) Good night (706) Bad night (1511)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.

(609): View more from New Jersey

sounds about right

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(215): judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend. (609): sounds about right http://tfl.nu/kfa3

Replies (0) Good night (1395) Bad night (502)
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(775): View more from Nevada

She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.

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(775): She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time. http://tfl.nu/amjm

Replies (3) Good night (920) Bad night (579)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

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(307): Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator." http://tfl.nu/nuq5

Replies (4) Good night (475) Bad night (451)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.

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(781): I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today. http://tfl.nu/uj8g

Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (291)

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