Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.

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(614): View more from Ohio

So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...

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(859): View more from Kentucky

It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.

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(206): View more from Washington

idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...

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(817): View more from Texas

like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello

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