So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
