just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm at about main and main street
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
