I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I did not marry a roomba.
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