i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Terrible idea I love it
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
