I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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