But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize