I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
