Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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