If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
