he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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