It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize