New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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