I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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