yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
